Science Fiction/Fantasy Writers Group Blog

Thursday, August 12, 2004

More on Inanis and Co.

Here's an excerpt from the continuing senior project book, fresh off the comp today let me know what you think:

The station they came back to was not the one they had left. There were no bare windows, they had all been boarded up, and the building’s doors were closed tight. Rolig and Henki were looking around, and Inanis had an expression of worry on his face. They approached the front door quietly, the sense of trouble hanging in the air.
“What do you think is going on here, Inanis?” Rolig whispered.
“I’m not certain, but this isn’t like Yalnir at all.” Inanis motioned Henki over. “Rolig you take Henki out to the edge of the forest, I’m going to check out the main building. I don’t want her to get hurt, and me, well it doesn’t matter if I get hurt or not.”
“All right.” Rolig turned towards Henki.
“No, I’m not going.” Henki whispered.
“Yes you are.” Rolig said.
“I’ll scream.” She glared at both Rolig and Inanis.
Inanis quietly sang something, motioning towards Henki. He nodded towards Rolig, motioning him to take her. Henki started to say something, but there was no sound. Her eyes widened. She lunged towards Inanis, but by the time that she figured out what had happened, Rolig had a hold of her. He was muttering to her under his breath as he dragged her towards the edge of the clearing.
Inanis took no notice of Henki’s reaction. He walked towards the main building, seeing now that there were a few slits in the door. Three vertical ones, and one horizontal one. The windows were all boarded up. He slowed down as he neared the stairs and began walking up. On the third step he tripped something, and there were several zings. Not from the slits in the door however, but from places to the sides of the steps. Inanis felt three jolts, two in the right side and one lower in his leg.
He yelled out in pain, falling back from the steps, cursing.
Inside the building there came a shout. “Ha! You bandits have gotten it now!” The door opened wide and Yalnir stepped out, a sword in one hand and another loaded crossbow in the other. He looked down on Inanis. “For the love of the dragon! Inanis!”
Rolig and Henki began running when they heard Inanis’ shout, and Rolig bent over him. “Well, who did you think it was going to be, you idiot!?”
Yalnir dropped his weapons. “I’m so sorry! I figured friends would be a little bit louder on entry! Henki! Run inside the kitchen and start a fire. Put a pot of water over it!”
Henki nodded, and dashed inside.
“Yalnir, you’d better get some clean cloths, these are going to bleed when they come out.”, Rolig said as he looked over the three wounds that Inanis had, “These aren’t good. One straight to the side of the stomach, one pinning the arm to the ribs, and the one on the left right above the knee.”
“Oh God! I didn’t mean to…” Yalnir began muttering, and shaking his head as he left for the linens.
Inanis gritted his teeth. “Damn! DAMN DAMN DAMN! This hurts Rolig!”
“I’m sure it does, Inanis. Don’t worry, we’ll get you patched up here. Henki’s got some water boiling, and Yalnir’s gone for Linens.”
“why? You know this won’t kill me. We’ve got to take the arrows out now, though. You have to do it, Rolig right now.”
“But, we’ve got to do it cleanly!”
“I’m an immortal! We’ve got to get the arrows out now, otherwise the wounds will heal over them, and then we’ll need to cut them out…” Inanis groaned again, hands spasming with the pain.
“But won’t that be really painful?”
“Not near as much as me blasting you with magic! Pull them out!”

2 Comments:

  • First off: What'd I miss? When did they finally reach Inanis? Is there a chapter somewhere that I'm not aware of?

    Second: The bit about pulling out the arrows is quite entertaining. I do think that the dialogue between Rolig and Inanis could probably use some work, though. Unless I'm mistaken, my idea of Rolig is a little more gruff than he comes off there.

    A quick description or something of Yalnir when he comes out the door would be nice. It's hard to tell what his character is like.

    Is there some reason why Henki refuses to go with Rolig to the edge of the forest when Inanis asks her to? Or is she just being contrary?

    That's all I've got for now.

    By Blogger Angel, at 8/17/2004 01:49:00 AM  

  • yeah, sorry about that...there's a huge gap from what you guys had read...and yes, this will be beefed up a bit...

    this was, as I posted, hot off the typer.

    By Blogger Froyd, at 8/17/2004 04:44:00 PM  

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